Love your disabled neighbor

Speaking as a “disabled neighbor” is a bit daunting. Part of the intimidation is that there are so many of us (the U.S. government has estimated that up to 20% of the adult U.S. population has a disability) and that we and our disabilities are so varied. Part of it is that so much of the experience of disability isn’t very appealing. With those caveats, I can offer some observations, which may apply to others, but certainly apply to me. The first of these is that disability has an enormous impact on how we define ourselves and our relationship with the world outside ourselves, regardless of what our particular disabilities are. This process of self-definition is continual and it takes time: I have struggled with feelings of intense loss, anger, disappointment, shame, longing, envy, and insufficiency. I have also experienced feelings of gratitude, love, hope, relief, and acceptance. I have developed a complex relationship with the idea of normalcy: I crave it, but I appreciate it when others can accept when I cannot achieve it and take steps to enable me to participate in “normal” activities. I do not want to draw attention to myself, but I also do not want to be forgotten. I strive every day to find the elusive balance between mastering my disability, contributing to the life of my community, and not being too proud to accept the help of others when I need it. The pursuit of this balance has been my life’s struggle and it will continue as long as I do.

A Prayer

Good Lord, we thank you for all that you have given us. Whatever our abilities, give us strength and courage to meet our todays and tomorrows with optimism, creativity, and enthusiasm. Do not let pride or shame keep us from accepting a helping hand when it is offered and also help each of us lend our own hand to others whenever possible. Free us from assumptions when we notice others’ particular abilities. May we always be open to learning something new from one another. Amen.