Jesus gave us clear directions; “But I say to you who hear, do good to those who hate you.” Christ is our best example of these words. This is the not only what he talked about, but the truth that Christ practiced and lived by, and as imitators of Christ, what we also should live by. If we are going to summarize this message into three words, it could be: “Attitude is Everything!” The spirit in which you do something, is often even more important than the action itself. If you do something begrudgingly, it is not at all the same as doing it willingly.

 ’Do unto others’ … This is a concept that essentially no religion misses entirely.  The idea dates at least to the early Confucian times and this concept appears prominently in most of the world’s major religions; Buddhism,  Hinduism, Judaism, Taoism, and Christianity but how do we, as Christians live out this concept?

It is natural to reciprocate—to help those who help you and hurt those who hurt you. “Do unto others as they do unto you” can be interpreted as simple justice, and reciprocity is a natural, commonsense way to order one’s life, and is far more enlightened than the aggressive, selfish approach that many people favor today. “Do unto others as they do unto you” has often become “Do unto others before they do to you” We live in a world where powerful and wealthy people often use their power and wealth to accumulate even more power and wealth—with little regard to the effects on other people.  The story is told of a wealthy Texas rancher who is reputed to have said, “All I want is what’s mine—and what adjoins it.” 

 In many circles, such aggressive behavior is not only condoned but is celebrated. In some cases, truly evil people deliberately inflict injury on others for no apparent reason. We can perhaps understand the person who would steal something of value. It is more difficult to understand a person who would set fire to a church because of racial hatred or shoot a passerby for a quick thrill.

In such a dog-eat-dog world, reciprocity seems positively enlightened. It does not seek to inflict injury except in cases where injury is deserved. Its goal is fairness. The bad person suffers, and the good person prospers. It is as it should be. For example, I grew up with the story of Robin Hood …. stealing from the rich to give to the poor seemed like a noble thing to do.

And yet Jesus tells us that reciprocity is not what we should be doing.  Just as God goes beyond justice to mercy, we are to do the same. It is a hard lesson, one that goes against the grain. It is un-natural. We can move beyond justice to mercy, but only through the grace of God.

Jesus clearly establishes that we, as his disciples, are not to allow people of lesser principles to set the agenda. We are not to wait to see what the other person will do before we decide what we will do. Nor are we to be trapped in a vicious cycle that someone else starts. Instead, we are to seize the initiative by loving, doing good, blessing and praying. These behaviors might seem weak in the face of hatred and violence, but Jesus transforms them.

He demonstrated at the cross how powerful they can be. On the cross, he did not curse his enemies, but prayed for their forgiveness.

I’m not talking about “please give that person what they have coming to them” prayers. But I also don’t mean that you need to spend an hour each night asking God to pour blessings upon them. There’s a way to pray both for justice and for the hearts of those committing injustices.

If you have hate in your heart for somebody, maybe it starts with “God, I hate that person, and I don’t want to.”

As C.S. Lewis said, “[Prayer] doesn’t change God—it changes me.”

Praying for your enemy opens you up to the work of the Holy Spirit in your heart. I once discussed this very subject with a minister and said “I just don’t think I can pray for them” Her suggestion was very helpful; If you really cannot do it then imagine placing them at the foot of the cross and asking Jesus to forgive them until you are able to. 

Loving your enemy does not mean you have to add them to your Christmas list, or make them your best friend. It doesn’t mean you excuse their actions. It means you forgive them, because you know that you have been forgiven by a loving God. Therefore, you forgive with the knowledge that God is both merciful and just.

We have many examples of love, forgiveness and peaceful resistance from Francis of Assisi and Saint Stephen, to Ghandi, Nelson Mandela and Martin Luther King, Jr. They have proven the power of love through the centuries. Love wins! It overcomes the world!

In his book, Strength to Love Martin Luther King Jr. states that forgiveness is the decisive factor in how much you can love your enemy. I believe he is right. We can look at examples like the Civil Rights movement, and the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in post-apartheid South Africa, where we see clearly that only when we treat our adversaries as humans—no matter how flawed—can we hope to prevail in our cause: the cause of ultimate justice. The belief that God will eventually set all the wrongs to right.

Dr Martin Luther King took it one step further. He said;

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’

It is very easy to pray for someone in need, a little more is involved if we actively visit with them, take a meal to them, or drive them to a hospital appointment. Love is a verb and should signal us into doing rather than simply feeling. (And always check your motivation for doing any act of kindness – Are you doing it without validation? As a humble servant, or are you hoping to be recognized for your good deeds?)

One of the most humble people I have ever met is a perfect example of doing God’s work in a humble servant way. Kenneth Hauk started Stephen Ministry back in 1974. It has since grown to be a huge, flourishing International Ministry in churches all over the world. For those of you that don’t know about it, Stephen Ministry is a wonderful program where trained lay people minister to those in their congregation needing care, whether it is a short term crisis situation or longer term. Kenneth Hauk started this ministry because well-meaning friends just didn’t know what to say or do to help when his wife was dying from cancer. As a minister he realized people are willing to offer care, they just don’t always know how best to do it. …So he began Stephen Ministry; training volunteers to visit other church members in a one-on-one confidential, Christian, caring relationship. I have been privileged to have many conversations with Kenneth Hauk as I attended Stephen Ministry Training and Leadership training over the years. The feeling one gets when speaking with him is that yes, this ministry is an extension of his own service in God’s name. These trained laypeople go out worldwide to care for others and it has to be that the Holy Spirit is in each of those caring relationships.

I have been a practicing Stephen Minister for more than sixteen years and during that time I was blessed to have a dear friend alongside me to lead the program and help me train other Stephen Ministers. Jim was my buddy and having him as my partner meant that we trained equal numbers of men and women for this ministry as Jim pointed out to the guys that all men can be vulnerable and all need God’s help from time to time. He, for me, exemplified this scripture passage. He lived it. He was certainly no saint in his early years but turned his life around when he joined the church and my goodness he demonstrated God’s love as he ministered to those who were suffering, perhaps the loss of a child or a job, perhaps someone suffering from alcoholism…whatever the need Jim ministered to folks confidentially and always said that He got more from the caring relationship than he ever gave out.

He lived out “Love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return.” I mention this because Jim died ten days ago. And the legacy my dear friend left behind is not riches, accolades or possessions…. It is love and care given out freely as a humble servant. What an astounding way he lived out Jesus instructions… sometimes it is only when someone is here no more that you suddenly realize just how many people they helped and how much good they did.  So I hope to use the example of his life and legacy. I hope to build on the possibility for Stephen Ministry here at St Stephens, I will strive to offer the kind of care and compassion as my friend Jim did…but also following his example and striving to do always do those things as a humble servant. We know that when someone turns their life around and becomes a ministering presence in this way it is only by the Grace of God.

It is only by showing love to our enemies, and doing good to those who hate us that we display to them the love of God. And maybe, just maybe, if we show them the love of God, they will experience something they have never experienced before, and will want more of it.

*Belonging with Purpose is a weekly news update of how our purpose is being reflected through the collective and individual lives of St. Stephen’s.  If you have a story or experience that you believe illustrates our Vision and Mission, please send it to Ginny Fitzpatrick, gfitzpatrick@ststephens-ridgefield.org  The staff works together to create a schedule for highlighting our ministry as St. Stephen’s Church.

Visit us at: www.ststephensridgefield.org

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